In my mind’s eye, or whatever

Yesterday was my 11th brain injuryiversary! Perhaps not a celebratory event to the vast majority of people, but it kinda is for me, because I didn’t die! It hasn’t been easy and I wish someone would’ve known enough to tell me a few things: when I first got home I couldn’t talk and could barely move, here’s what I learned:

lesson #1 DON’T GIVE UP!!!– No matter what the doctors and therapists may or may not say you have to be in charge of your own life and what happens! Doc’t let others naysaying have a lasting negative influence on your life!


“When the weight we carry breaks us, we’re tempted to stay down
But every road to recovery, starts at the breakdown”-Rise Against

Which brings me to lesson #2 DON’T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF!!!– It’s easy (especially with social media) to compare yourself to others or judge yourself negatively. The journey is personal, so just because someone else is having a way easier time with something, DOES NOT mean you suck.

Also lesson #3 YOU WILL FORGET THINGS!!! other things you might remember while others forget, like names, dates and other relatively unimportant factoids(BTW people get REALLY pissed when this happens).

So, lesson #4 YOU WILL BE AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES- I don’t really mean to be rude, snappy or hostile, but it happens, if I do it to you and I’m ordinarily pretty nice, I don’t mean it, I just can’t help it (people do this all the time w/o the benefit of having an excuse).

lesson #5 YOUR BRAIN AND MOUTH ARE NOT FRIENDS!!!- This is unfortunate because there are so many things I think of and they sound COMPLETLY different when I voice them, case in point, when I first got sick and was hospitalized my mother visited EVERYDAY (much awesome than I give her credit for), so I practiced ALL DAY in my head telling her how much I loved her; she came, sat on my bed and brushed my leg and I screamed “GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!!”

So I guess this is lesson #6 for what I wish I knew then: LAUGH– Life’s hard, things aren’t easy, don’t take yourself so seriously that you forget to actually LIVE!!!

Well, that’s all I’ve got on this, so, be well stay safe and have a great night!

Peace, much love and many hugs C xxx

10 thoughts on “In my mind’s eye, or whatever

  1. Cyrina, I love that you wrote this! It can be do hard for the rest of us to have an understanding of what life is like for you, and others who have been through similar injuries. You expressed yourself very well, and the more you help others see what life is like for you, the more understanding people will be, not just towards you, but others as well. Thank you! I miss you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I miss you too! There are literal TONS of other things that I should’ve thought of, but it literally took me over 2hrs to write even that little and it felt like my hands were DEFINATELY falling off, lol, so I had to make haste there!

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  2. You’ve been dealt a shitty hand and I admire your fight. You are brave and funny and loyal and honest and so loving. None of those things were taken from you and I hope you continue to use them to enlighten others about who you are and what you CAN do. I always love you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow Cyrina this is written so well and definitely hits so close to home since my brain tumor last year! So many things I always want to say but never come out right, and forgetting so much! But the fight remains strong to keep the battle going for not only myself but my kids as well💜💜💜

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    1. Didn’t they have to take out big chunks of yours? Mine is still whole(not that that matters apparently, lol), but you seem to be doing well w/o anyway! I’m glad you’re ok, I also suck at saying empathetic things now, lol. I just started doing this whole “fighting” thing and I let myself go, so sadly I’m much further behind the 8 ball than I’d like, but I’m determined not to suck now!

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